The real reason I don't have children of my own...

I'm a BAD BAD mommy. I dropped puppy Jack this morning. Well I didn't DROP him, he flew from my arms. I feel HORRIBLE. I've been holding back just sobbing like a baby.

The alarm went off. Normally I would lay there and listen to the traffic and maybe a song on the radio. With Jack though it's up and out the door. Jack heard the music and stepped on my face. He was running all over the bed ready to get helped off..he can't jump that high. So I take him in my arms, go to the back door, down the steps, open the door and we walk into the yard.

As I lowered Jack to the grass he flew... and landed.. he flew at least a foot, or two..I don't know. He YELLED..and yelled and yelled. My heart stopped beating and I picked him up and held him to my chest. My mind raced. I need to run inside and put on my clothes and take him to get xrays..is he breathing, is anything broken..how am I going to explain this to Drew...I'm going to have to miss work. How can I live with myself. All this was in 30 seconds.

Then Jack licked my neck and my face. I put him down on the ground and lowered myself to the couch outside. Breath in, breath out..repeat. He looks at me and crawled under where I was sitting. I thought: OMG he's crawling away to die.

Jack put his paws on my leg and I picked him up. We went inside. J was in the kitchen..
J: Did he go?
M: Umm, he flew out of my arms
J: I heard him yell
M: Do you think we should take him and get him checked out?
J: Can he walk?
M: Yeah
J: He's fine. Put him down.
Jack runs into the dining room and pushes his ball around with his nose.
J: He's fine, did he go?
Jack squats like he's about to pee. I scoop him up yelling NO. We go back outside. This time he does NOT wiggle in the least bit. I set Jack on the grass. He goes #1 then runs, skips and jumps behind the tree and goes #2. I scoop him up and bring him back inside. He runs around some more. In this time J has started my shower for me. I hop in, Jack stands at the bathroom door and barks at me.

I guess he's fine. I feel HORRIBLE. If Jeremy would have allowed him to fall I would have killed him. I hope my conscious eases up on me soon cause I feel like shit.

EDIT: Just received the personal text message from my husband.. "He's fine"