Puppy Class 101- The first night.

As I mentioned yesterday we were due for some severe weather. The issue is it's October, 80 degrees outside and Fall is trying to rush in like a Lion..wait, wrong season. Anyway we had lots of wind and some rain before we left. I put Jack's harness on him, first time in a month, and the leash. He wasn't pleased.

J, Jack and I hop in the car and head off to Petsmart. I was really a bit clueless. Believe it or not. I didn't know how long the class was, how many weeks, nothing. I paid and signed on one afternoon when my dad was with me, I did not retain any details. All I knew was; wear the leash, bring treats and shot records. As the instructor started J's eyes were rolling to the back of his head...as he put it : That was worse than any boring college lecture that I have EVER had.

But lets start at the beginning. If you have ever been to a Petsmart you will have seen the little training area. We walk in and there are already people there with their babies. No..not children. Babies aka puppies. That is how the teacher refers to the puppies, they are babies. Do we think teacher may not have reproduced herself.

I keep jumping ahead.. OK, here are the other students.
The Family: Mom, Dad, Pre-Teen Daughter and their poodle mix. The poodle mix is almost 2 but is having issues w/ potty training and with calming down. Poodle mix was on CRACK! I have never seen such a spaz. Raven..we'll call her...really knew how to calm the dog, she would just YANK on the leash which would send poodlemix flying back into the folding chairs. I guess we'll deal w/ that next week.
Piano Teacher: We're calling her that because that is what she is. She can't go any other night so her Australian Shepard who is 2 years old and looks like a hairy police dog is there w/ the puppies.. I think they were all a little intimidated w/ the big girl. (shepard not the piano teacher).
Mom and Tot: I see "bad idea" written all over this. Mom and tot come running in late. They have their shot records but have forgotten the collar and leash. They have to borrow. The tot is maybe 7 years old..and they have a Lapprodoodledodaday. This poor little chocolate animal can't see it has so much hair. It really looks like it is half poodle, half gerbil. It might be. The tot and mom are having issues. Mom can't control tot and tot is trying to control the gerbil. This just really doesn't seem like a good idea. Then when the tot gets ahold of the clicker, that is a whole other story.
Big Daddy: Big Daddy has THE cutest dog I've ever seen (next to Jack and Bindi). Big Daddy has Lucky. Lucky is a mutt so he says, in my wisdom though I believe he has a 1/2 mini pin and 1/2 Chihuahua. Lucky is smart. She listens and was the star of the class. Lucky is VERY social and has made a fab new BFF w/ Jade.
Grunge Girl: Grunge Girl is in her early 20's. Her dog looks like it may have been a boyfriends idea. Jade LOOKS like a chocolate lab but she's NOT. Jade is more than like a Pitt/Lab/Terrier. That is enough dumb strong energy to make for a spazz dog. Let me tell you though, if this class works for her she looks like she'll be an AWESOME dog for a young girl. Jade had paws the size of a small pony and I'm sure by the end of our 8 weeks we'll be able to strap a sandal on her.

..then there is Jack. You will not believe this. Jack sat there...then he laid there..then he sat there. rightatjeremysfeetthewholenight. He was GLUED to him. I tried picking him up to try the soothing technique...because my dog is a spazz and this may come in handy. He slept through the anti spazz training!! We did the whole treat at your eye, click, treat. HE DIDN'T WANT THE TREAT!!! The teacher gave him one of those looks, "your dog is so shy"... NO HE IS NOT! This is the dog that love people and other animals that will sniff butts w/ the best of them. He made a mockery of us. Grunge girl looks at me and says "Hmmff, doesn't really look like Jack needs any training". Oh yea Avril, I'm just spending 100 bucks to show off for 45 minutes every Wednesday.

Teacher was something else. We learned she lived 55 miles away in the "country". They have a miniature horse, 3 dogs, 2 cats , a goat, gerbil, hamster and water buffalo. OK one of those I made up.

Teacher talked about NOT leaving the food out all day, "eliminating" outside. NOT yelling. She also said it usually takes a year since it takes most real children at least 2 years. (boys a little more)...and they SPEAK OUR LANGUAGE. We'll I'll be! I didn't realize that.

J was SO bored. The gates of heaven opened and the storm really started moving in. J went to get the car. I stood and told Jack to walk with me. He looked at me like I was speaking cat or something. I picked him up and started walking out, teacher said "We'll work on that next week. I think Jack is shy. Try what you learned when you get home".

Home: SPAZZ. I can't believe I thought we were going to do this all in one class.. 8 weeks. I guess I need to reschedule my haircut for next Wednesday. Thank God I don't have shows at 7pm. Hopefully she doesn't go over so I can get home in time for Criminal Minds..unless my husband calls Dish and spends time w/ them to get my dvr in the bedroom fixed..
GOD I hope this class works. !


Anonymous said...

i might consider something like this for LTD and FLD but I'd be too afraid of the bad habits they might show off in me!
I'm a bad puppy Mom I think...I spoil them rotten!

Emily said...

We'll see how Dudley does....this may be in his future. Where's a picture of Jack??

Jay said...

I hope those 8 weeks of fun will at least be beneficial...

Beware: Social Worker on the edge said...

At the very least I am sure you will have some great blog material.

Biddy said...

you made up the gerbil didn't you?

yeah, i'm on to you!

lol not to um, discourage you, but Chablis double puppy school failure? Petsmart. She did everything in class, got home, NOTHING. little bitch..

Lulu said...

Oh, MP! I was so laughing out loud sitting here in my little cubicle. Your description of these people was just a scream. I swear, I am so visualizing this one:

Raven..we'll call her...really knew how to calm the dog, she would just YANK on the leash which would send poodlemix flying back into the folding chairs.

...that I can't quit laughing! Oh Lordy, you have to report on this cast of characters each week! PLEASE!

And that is so funny about Jack! Something like Bindi would do. She's such a brat.